The Tulip and the Blade of Grass

The deeper I get into this parenting thing, the more complex I realize it is.  The more I need God every step of the way.



I have one child who I call my tulip.  He is beautiful inside and out.  When the sun shines on him, his petals open up and the most amazing and tender things come out his heart. He is the first to give me a hug and smile in the morning.  He is the first to feel remorse for misbehavior and always to first to forgive others, including his mama.  His heart is so pure, so tender, yet so exposed even as a tulip opens up its petals and exposes itself to the warm sun.  The tulip's delicate beauty and trust in the warmth of the sun also opens it up to the other elements.  A little rain or wind and the tulip is the first to lose its petals.  And so I live, every breath a prayer that winds of my human weakness and frustration don't cause my delicate, tender tulip to drop his petals.  He opens himself up to me every day, exposing himself and trusting. And I pray that God give me the grace and wisdom to nurture his gentle spirit into a bright, beautiful bloom.


On the opposite end of the spectrum is my second son...the blade of grass.  He is colorful in his own way.  Fun-loving, bursting forth with all the energy of spring.  Delicate and tender is not how I would describe him, though.  You can step on him, roll on him...no matter what you do, he will bounce right back up.  The loving care that he needs is called mowing.  If you give him the the care of tulip, he will grow wild and unruly - but give him some good, strong direction and he will thrive.  However, if the sun is scorching hot and there is no gently rain to soothe the pain, the grass to will whither.  And so I pray that God give me the wisdom and strength to love and nurture my grass in the way that he needs - to not treat like my tulip but give him the strong love he needs without scorching his soul.


Both the tulip and the grass are beautiful in their own ways.  Both are needed to encompass the beauty of spring. 

Two separate plants. Both growing in the same garden under the care of the same gardener.  And this gardener remains on her knees, every breath a prayer, asking for wisdom from the Master Gardener Himself.  The One who knows their needs better than I ever could.

They are Mine

The other day I was at a church for a praise and worship night.  The focus on the night was on how God never fails us, how His love is all we need.  I was so thankful, so humbled, but also suddenly overcome with grief.  Literally, sitting in my chair sobbing.

I kept saying to God, "Thank you for being there for me.  Thank you for your sovereign hand upon my life. Thank you! But what about them...what about these two beautiful blessings you have given me? What about the many times a day I fail them! What about my boys, God?!?

As I sat there crying, I heard this whisper in my ear. "What about YOUR children? No, they are still MINE - as you are MINE.  And as I will not/cannot fail you, I will not and cannot fail them.  Because they are mine!"

The peace that came over me was unspeakable.  As all parents do, I give my all to my kids-yet I am human, and they get the brunt of my weakness and frustrations.  It gives my soul rest to know that their lives and their future are in His sovereign hands.  The same hands that promise to work all things together for good.

Thank you, dear Jesus, for loving the ones I love deeper, fuller, and more perfectly than I ever could.

This is a picture from my favorite Bible as a child.  I think I got it when I was 5 years old.  I love it mostly for this picture.  It has always reminded me of how Jesus holds His children and I found comfort in it.  Now I find comfort in it knowing that this is how he holds not only me but my children as well.

Brokenness

"The territory may be unknown to you, but not to Him who calls you."  Brokenness by Lon Solomon

Sweet and Sour Chicken

This recipe is a family favorite and sure fire hit when we have guests over.  I only make it on special occasions or when we have guests simply because it is a little time consuming.

First you will need to cut up your chicken into chunks and sprinkle it with garlic salt and some pepper.  Then set up your dipping stations.  I have these wonderful frying bowls from pampered chef but any bowls would work.  One bowl has the chicken chunks.  The next bowl has a couple beaten eggs.  And the last bowl as some flour in it.

Then begin the frying process by dipping the chicken pieces in the egg and then in the flour.  Get the oil heating in the frying pan while you are coating your chicken.  Place your coated chicken in hot oil.  A couple minutes on each side should do it.  The chicken doesn't have to be fully cooked since it will cooked more in the oven.

Move the fried chicken to a baking dish and repeat until all the chicken pieces are fried. (That is the time consuming part)

In a medium saucepan mix together all ingredients for the sauce and bring to a boil.  I usually double the sauce recipe because my crew loves sauce.

Lastly dump the sauce on the fried chicken pieces.  Bake for an hour.  Serve over rice and enjoy.  Yum!

 

Sweet and Sour Chicken

Chicken

3 lbs Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts (2-3 chicken breast)

1 tsp Garlic Salt

½ tsp Black Pepper

1 Beaten Egg

4-6 Tbsp Corn Starch or Flour

Sauce

¾ Cup Sugar

½ Cup Vinegar

1 chicken bouillon cube in 1 cup water

3 ½ Tbsp Ketchup

1 Tbsp Soy Sauce

Sprinkle chicken with garlic salt and pepper. Let stand for one hour or more. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. 

 Dip chicken in beaten egg and then in corn starch or flour. Heat oil (can tell if the oil is hot enough by flicking water at it and if it splatters it is ready) and brown chicken. Put in baking dish and cover with the following sauce:

Sauce:

Mix sugar, vinegar, soy sauce, chicken stock, and ketchup. Heat in sauce pan and then pour over chicken in baking dish. Bake uncovered one hour. Turn chicken once or twice. Makes six servings.

The Plan

Everyone knows about the plan.  People ask about the plan.  Sometimes it is simple.  Sometimes it is super busy, but everyone as the a plan.  The plan for their day.

My plan usually looks something like this...
get up before the kids to spend some time alone
feed the kids breakfast
exercise
some sort of morning activity (school, errands, playdates, etc)
lunch
nap/quiet time (the highlight of every mom's day)
prepare dinner

This is the plan that is in my head at the start of the day.  The reality of my day often looks a lot different than this plan.  My quiet time in the morning is often interrupted by one or both kids getting up early.  Exercise is interrupted by mediating fights or just other requirements of the day.  Morning activities are often up in the air due to weather and mood of the kids.

Even if nothing in the morning goes according to plan in my head at least I have the afternoon nap to look forward to, right. My solace in the day.  Time to recharge. Spend time refocusing.  Time just for me.  Yet even that is not a guarantee.

So usually I spend my day desperately trying to get myself back to the plan in my head, to redeem some part of the day.  All that comes of that is frustration.

Yesterday, though, I tried a new approach.  Instead of holding on to my plan, I let go of it.  Literally, in the middle of what was supposed to be my alone time, I whispered these words, "Well, God, it's not happening today.  Anytime me and You, You need to meet me here in the middle of dishes and tired kids.  In the middle of this chaos because this is my day now."  I wish I could say that the kids turned out and went to bed or atleast gave me a moment of silence. They didn't.  But what did happen when I let go of my plan is that I missed the frustration of trying to get back on track.  I accepted my day and moved on.

Years ago, a friend told me, "Even though it isn't the day that you had planned, it is the day God had planned for you."  Those words have stuck with me.  He was not surprised by any part of my day and actually He orchestrated it all. Having a plan isn't a bad thing, fighting tooth and nail to keep that plan alive is where we go wrong.

Let go of your plan and grab onto His.
"Many are the plans of a mans heart, but the Lord directs His steps." Proverbs 19:21

Food for thought

Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff. 

~Catherine M. Wallace~

Sovereignty of God

Many times throughout my life, I have pondered what my "favorite" attribute of God is.  It is a hard question.  There are so so many amazingly wonderful characteristics of our Savior.  And truthfully, they cannot be separated. What is the point of an all-powerful God that is not loving?  And what is the point of an all-loving God who doesn't have the power to do anything?  And if we had an all-powerful and all-loving God who did not care about the details of our lives, He would not be much of a God at all.  So all the attributes of His incomprehensible qualities  lead to one awesome God!!

However, if I was forced to pick just one quality it would have to be His sovereignty.  The older I get, the more I realize the rest that comes in truly believing that "all things work together for good to those that trust Him."  I find myself time and time again leaning in on that promise and clinging to it because it is a PROMISE.  And God is faithful to all of His promises.

I find comfort in "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."  This means I  don't have to understand all the things in my life.  There are so many things/circumstances that make no sense in this world.  But that is OK.  God knows that and I am not supposed to know - just trust.

There is peace in "many are the plans of man's heart, but the Lord direct his steps."  The things that I think I want change daily, hourly, sometimes one minute to the next.  Can you imagine if God gave exactly what we wanted exactly when we wanted it.  The world be one confusing mess.  Our minds are so fickle and half the time I really have no idea what it is I want.  Praise God that He is not relying on me figure out what I need in this life.  Praise God that He directs my steps and through trust and prayer, I realize that what He is giving me actually IS exactly what I need.

When our circumstances are downright painful and make exactly no sense, God's sovereignty is where we must rest.  When I was going through one of the darkest parts of my life, I remember staring out the kitchen window and in my mind yelling at God.  Then I heard His quiet, but firm voice..."This is the path I have chosen for you.  You can walk it holding my hand and allowing me to lead you through it or you can fight me the whole way...but this is the past you must walk down."  If we truly believe that we serve an all-loving, all-powerful, and intimately personal God - if we believe that down to the core of our being- then there is no other choice but to rest completely in His sovereignty.

I have a mental picture of child who is about to go into surgery.  She clings to her father's hands and her terrified eyes gaze deep into his.  The father slowly whispers, "I love you.  It will be OK. Trust me."  The surgery isn't going to be any less painful because he said those words.  The difference is that although the child doesn't understand why she needs surgery or why her father is allowing this in her life, she clings to what she does know.  She knows her father loves her. She knows her father would only allow things in her life that would benefit her.  She knows that if she clings to him, he will not leave her side.  He has proven himself, and so she trusts him despite all appearances.

The sovereignty of God...cling to Him despite all appearances and He won't let you down.

Being Needed

“Mommy, can I have a drink?”

“Mommy, he took my toy?”

“Mommy, he hit me?'

“Mommy, where is my drink?”

“Mommy,...”

“Mommy,...”

There are days that I just to change my name.  To hide in the closet just for 10 minutes of silence, golden silence.  Even as I write this post, I cannot count the number of times I have been interrupted.  Some days I dream of the days that I can shower without breaking up a fight or that I can take a phone call and actually complete a conversation with a friend.   But then I take a step back and realize that all these interruptions to my day mean that I am needed.  And do I really want to be not needed...well, maybe for 5 minutes in a row...but the answer is no.  Honestly, there are 12 hours at night that I am not needed and by morning, I miss them.  I am ready to be needed. 

Then the real truth comes out. 

The little hands take out all the toys at once are the same little hands that hold tightly to my fingers in a new situation. 

The arms that hit and fight are also the arms that are quick to hug my neck when they sense mommy is have a hard day. 

The mouths that are always asking for more are the same mouths that say, “I want to wear red today mommy to show everyone that I love you.”

The bellies that always need food also give the greatest belly laughs when tickled.

The little legs that run from me when they are in trouble run to me when they fall and I become the best doctor with a simple kiss. 

The truth is that I need them too.  I need their smiles.  I  need their hugs and kisses.  I need little people to show me the benefits a good belly laugh.  And I don't get to be left alone and still be the hero of their day because we took a trip to the dollar store.  One day I won't be their hero.  And one day a kiss and a tickle won't solve the world's problems.  Right now, this day, I need to be needed.  So despite my desperate desire to hide under the bed some days, I refuse to wish these days away.