A High Calling

The role of wife and mother.
It is a high calling.
Many people can do it.
Many can do a good job at it.
But how many will really do it well?
How many will hear "well done my good and faithful servant?"

Those words are my goal, my prize.
I run the race with perseverance. I run the race to the finish.
Just to hear those words.

But what does that really mean...
These are the thoughts that I have been pondering.
How do I embrace these roles and more importantly how do I do them WELL.
This question brings me to my knees.
Asking God for WISDOM - wisdom to anticipate my husband's needs, wisdom to anticipate my sons'  needs, wisdom to know the right responses and GRACE - grace have the right attitude, grace for patience, grace to respond correctly to every situation, and grace to forgive myself when I fail.

One thing I have learned, though, is that part of this is to do every task wholeheartedly and unto the Lord. EVERY TASK. with energy and enthusiasm that springs from the joy of serving those you love.

So today I will pick up tupperware containers off the kitchen floor at least five times, but each time I will try to focus not on WHAT I am doing, but on FOR WHOM I am doing it. Same with laundry and cleaning and the multitude of other tasks that call my name.

But maybe today will be different from yesterday, because today I will have a new attitude and a new energy to my work.

And maybe today, I will do more than just doing my job -
today, I will do it WELL and with my whole heart unto the Lord.

That is my prayer for today and every day.

The Tulip and the Blade of Grass

The deeper I get into this parenting thing, the more complex I realize it is.  The more I need God every step of the way.



I have one child who I call my tulip.  He is beautiful inside and out.  When the sun shines on him, his petals open up and the most amazing and tender things come out his heart. He is the first to give me a hug and smile in the morning.  He is the first to feel remorse for misbehavior and always to first to forgive others, including his mama.  His heart is so pure, so tender, yet so exposed even as a tulip opens up its petals and exposes itself to the warm sun.  The tulip's delicate beauty and trust in the warmth of the sun also opens it up to the other elements.  A little rain or wind and the tulip is the first to lose its petals.  And so I live, every breath a prayer that winds of my human weakness and frustration don't cause my delicate, tender tulip to drop his petals.  He opens himself up to me every day, exposing himself and trusting. And I pray that God give me the grace and wisdom to nurture his gentle spirit into a bright, beautiful bloom.


On the opposite end of the spectrum is my second son...the blade of grass.  He is colorful in his own way.  Fun-loving, bursting forth with all the energy of spring.  Delicate and tender is not how I would describe him, though.  You can step on him, roll on him...no matter what you do, he will bounce right back up.  The loving care that he needs is called mowing.  If you give him the the care of tulip, he will grow wild and unruly - but give him some good, strong direction and he will thrive.  However, if the sun is scorching hot and there is no gently rain to soothe the pain, the grass to will whither.  And so I pray that God give me the wisdom and strength to love and nurture my grass in the way that he needs - to not treat like my tulip but give him the strong love he needs without scorching his soul.


Both the tulip and the grass are beautiful in their own ways.  Both are needed to encompass the beauty of spring. 

Two separate plants. Both growing in the same garden under the care of the same gardener.  And this gardener remains on her knees, every breath a prayer, asking for wisdom from the Master Gardener Himself.  The One who knows their needs better than I ever could.

They are Mine

The other day I was at a church for a praise and worship night.  The focus on the night was on how God never fails us, how His love is all we need.  I was so thankful, so humbled, but also suddenly overcome with grief.  Literally, sitting in my chair sobbing.

I kept saying to God, "Thank you for being there for me.  Thank you for your sovereign hand upon my life. Thank you! But what about them...what about these two beautiful blessings you have given me? What about the many times a day I fail them! What about my boys, God?!?

As I sat there crying, I heard this whisper in my ear. "What about YOUR children? No, they are still MINE - as you are MINE.  And as I will not/cannot fail you, I will not and cannot fail them.  Because they are mine!"

The peace that came over me was unspeakable.  As all parents do, I give my all to my kids-yet I am human, and they get the brunt of my weakness and frustrations.  It gives my soul rest to know that their lives and their future are in His sovereign hands.  The same hands that promise to work all things together for good.

Thank you, dear Jesus, for loving the ones I love deeper, fuller, and more perfectly than I ever could.

This is a picture from my favorite Bible as a child.  I think I got it when I was 5 years old.  I love it mostly for this picture.  It has always reminded me of how Jesus holds His children and I found comfort in it.  Now I find comfort in it knowing that this is how he holds not only me but my children as well.

Brokenness

"The territory may be unknown to you, but not to Him who calls you."  Brokenness by Lon Solomon

Sweet and Sour Chicken

This recipe is a family favorite and sure fire hit when we have guests over.  I only make it on special occasions or when we have guests simply because it is a little time consuming.

First you will need to cut up your chicken into chunks and sprinkle it with garlic salt and some pepper.  Then set up your dipping stations.  I have these wonderful frying bowls from pampered chef but any bowls would work.  One bowl has the chicken chunks.  The next bowl has a couple beaten eggs.  And the last bowl as some flour in it.

Then begin the frying process by dipping the chicken pieces in the egg and then in the flour.  Get the oil heating in the frying pan while you are coating your chicken.  Place your coated chicken in hot oil.  A couple minutes on each side should do it.  The chicken doesn't have to be fully cooked since it will cooked more in the oven.

Move the fried chicken to a baking dish and repeat until all the chicken pieces are fried. (That is the time consuming part)

In a medium saucepan mix together all ingredients for the sauce and bring to a boil.  I usually double the sauce recipe because my crew loves sauce.

Lastly dump the sauce on the fried chicken pieces.  Bake for an hour.  Serve over rice and enjoy.  Yum!

 

Sweet and Sour Chicken

Chicken

3 lbs Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts (2-3 chicken breast)

1 tsp Garlic Salt

½ tsp Black Pepper

1 Beaten Egg

4-6 Tbsp Corn Starch or Flour

Sauce

¾ Cup Sugar

½ Cup Vinegar

1 chicken bouillon cube in 1 cup water

3 ½ Tbsp Ketchup

1 Tbsp Soy Sauce

Sprinkle chicken with garlic salt and pepper. Let stand for one hour or more. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. 

 Dip chicken in beaten egg and then in corn starch or flour. Heat oil (can tell if the oil is hot enough by flicking water at it and if it splatters it is ready) and brown chicken. Put in baking dish and cover with the following sauce:

Sauce:

Mix sugar, vinegar, soy sauce, chicken stock, and ketchup. Heat in sauce pan and then pour over chicken in baking dish. Bake uncovered one hour. Turn chicken once or twice. Makes six servings.

The Plan

Everyone knows about the plan.  People ask about the plan.  Sometimes it is simple.  Sometimes it is super busy, but everyone as the a plan.  The plan for their day.

My plan usually looks something like this...
get up before the kids to spend some time alone
feed the kids breakfast
exercise
some sort of morning activity (school, errands, playdates, etc)
lunch
nap/quiet time (the highlight of every mom's day)
prepare dinner

This is the plan that is in my head at the start of the day.  The reality of my day often looks a lot different than this plan.  My quiet time in the morning is often interrupted by one or both kids getting up early.  Exercise is interrupted by mediating fights or just other requirements of the day.  Morning activities are often up in the air due to weather and mood of the kids.

Even if nothing in the morning goes according to plan in my head at least I have the afternoon nap to look forward to, right. My solace in the day.  Time to recharge. Spend time refocusing.  Time just for me.  Yet even that is not a guarantee.

So usually I spend my day desperately trying to get myself back to the plan in my head, to redeem some part of the day.  All that comes of that is frustration.

Yesterday, though, I tried a new approach.  Instead of holding on to my plan, I let go of it.  Literally, in the middle of what was supposed to be my alone time, I whispered these words, "Well, God, it's not happening today.  Anytime me and You, You need to meet me here in the middle of dishes and tired kids.  In the middle of this chaos because this is my day now."  I wish I could say that the kids turned out and went to bed or atleast gave me a moment of silence. They didn't.  But what did happen when I let go of my plan is that I missed the frustration of trying to get back on track.  I accepted my day and moved on.

Years ago, a friend told me, "Even though it isn't the day that you had planned, it is the day God had planned for you."  Those words have stuck with me.  He was not surprised by any part of my day and actually He orchestrated it all. Having a plan isn't a bad thing, fighting tooth and nail to keep that plan alive is where we go wrong.

Let go of your plan and grab onto His.
"Many are the plans of a mans heart, but the Lord directs His steps." Proverbs 19:21

Food for thought

Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff. 

~Catherine M. Wallace~

Sovereignty of God

Many times throughout my life, I have pondered what my "favorite" attribute of God is.  It is a hard question.  There are so so many amazingly wonderful characteristics of our Savior.  And truthfully, they cannot be separated. What is the point of an all-powerful God that is not loving?  And what is the point of an all-loving God who doesn't have the power to do anything?  And if we had an all-powerful and all-loving God who did not care about the details of our lives, He would not be much of a God at all.  So all the attributes of His incomprehensible qualities  lead to one awesome God!!

However, if I was forced to pick just one quality it would have to be His sovereignty.  The older I get, the more I realize the rest that comes in truly believing that "all things work together for good to those that trust Him."  I find myself time and time again leaning in on that promise and clinging to it because it is a PROMISE.  And God is faithful to all of His promises.

I find comfort in "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."  This means I  don't have to understand all the things in my life.  There are so many things/circumstances that make no sense in this world.  But that is OK.  God knows that and I am not supposed to know - just trust.

There is peace in "many are the plans of man's heart, but the Lord direct his steps."  The things that I think I want change daily, hourly, sometimes one minute to the next.  Can you imagine if God gave exactly what we wanted exactly when we wanted it.  The world be one confusing mess.  Our minds are so fickle and half the time I really have no idea what it is I want.  Praise God that He is not relying on me figure out what I need in this life.  Praise God that He directs my steps and through trust and prayer, I realize that what He is giving me actually IS exactly what I need.

When our circumstances are downright painful and make exactly no sense, God's sovereignty is where we must rest.  When I was going through one of the darkest parts of my life, I remember staring out the kitchen window and in my mind yelling at God.  Then I heard His quiet, but firm voice..."This is the path I have chosen for you.  You can walk it holding my hand and allowing me to lead you through it or you can fight me the whole way...but this is the past you must walk down."  If we truly believe that we serve an all-loving, all-powerful, and intimately personal God - if we believe that down to the core of our being- then there is no other choice but to rest completely in His sovereignty.

I have a mental picture of child who is about to go into surgery.  She clings to her father's hands and her terrified eyes gaze deep into his.  The father slowly whispers, "I love you.  It will be OK. Trust me."  The surgery isn't going to be any less painful because he said those words.  The difference is that although the child doesn't understand why she needs surgery or why her father is allowing this in her life, she clings to what she does know.  She knows her father loves her. She knows her father would only allow things in her life that would benefit her.  She knows that if she clings to him, he will not leave her side.  He has proven himself, and so she trusts him despite all appearances.

The sovereignty of God...cling to Him despite all appearances and He won't let you down.

Being Needed

“Mommy, can I have a drink?”

“Mommy, he took my toy?”

“Mommy, he hit me?'

“Mommy, where is my drink?”

“Mommy,...”

“Mommy,...”

There are days that I just to change my name.  To hide in the closet just for 10 minutes of silence, golden silence.  Even as I write this post, I cannot count the number of times I have been interrupted.  Some days I dream of the days that I can shower without breaking up a fight or that I can take a phone call and actually complete a conversation with a friend.   But then I take a step back and realize that all these interruptions to my day mean that I am needed.  And do I really want to be not needed...well, maybe for 5 minutes in a row...but the answer is no.  Honestly, there are 12 hours at night that I am not needed and by morning, I miss them.  I am ready to be needed. 

Then the real truth comes out. 

The little hands take out all the toys at once are the same little hands that hold tightly to my fingers in a new situation. 

The arms that hit and fight are also the arms that are quick to hug my neck when they sense mommy is have a hard day. 

The mouths that are always asking for more are the same mouths that say, “I want to wear red today mommy to show everyone that I love you.”

The bellies that always need food also give the greatest belly laughs when tickled.

The little legs that run from me when they are in trouble run to me when they fall and I become the best doctor with a simple kiss. 

The truth is that I need them too.  I need their smiles.  I  need their hugs and kisses.  I need little people to show me the benefits a good belly laugh.  And I don't get to be left alone and still be the hero of their day because we took a trip to the dollar store.  One day I won't be their hero.  And one day a kiss and a tickle won't solve the world's problems.  Right now, this day, I need to be needed.  So despite my desperate desire to hide under the bed some days, I refuse to wish these days away.  

Getting Comfortable

There is no better feeling than slipping off some tight jeans and putting on sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

It just feels good.  There is no better feeling for the soul than getting comfortable with yourself and that is what I am learning to do.

I have spent so much time looking around at what others are doing and wondering if we should be doing that too.  
“What, you have a game night every Tuesday? We should too.”

“What, you only watch TV one night a week. We should too.”

“What, you make your kids vegetable smoothies 3 meals a day. I should too.”

You name it....we should too!

For years I have tried to fit my family into somebody else's mold.  My family humored me for a little bit but nothing stuck.  Now I know why...it wasn't us.  These are the things that worked for your family, not mine.  What I am finally realizing is that it is OK.  I don't need to make an excuse for why your family traditions don't work in mine.  I don't need to feel badly because your traditions don't work for my family. 

After the kids go to bed, my husband and I are spent.  We sit on the couch and watch TV until bedtime.  So many times I have tried to force that time into conversation or game time.  But the truth is at this stage in life, neither of have the energy to do much more than sit on the couch next to each other.  Sometimes we talk instead but only if one of us has something to talk about not because it is Tuesday night (I have tried the “it's talking Tuesday let's turn off TV” and then we both sat there in silence with nothing to say to eachother). Our conversations are great when they happen because they are not forced.  Better yet when they don't happen, I no longer feel badly.  I don't feel like we “should” be doing something else. I don't feel like I need to come up with some excuse about why we are watching TV.  The only thing I need to know is that right here, right now...that is what works for my family. 

And on top of all that, I give my kids poptarts for breakfast. 

And I am comfortable with that too and it feels good!

Living with Boys

The top 10 things I have learned living with boys

1. There are three volumes...loud, louder, and loudest.  And the further into the day you get, the louder the noise level gets.  There is no use fighting the noise level. 
2. They make messes everywhere they go...on their hands, on their faces, on the floor in every room of the house
3. There is dirt in places I didn't even know existed. 
4. In the bathroom, there is pee in places that I don't even want to think about how it got there
5. They go from 0-60 mph in 2 seconds flat and they need LOTS of room to run and jump and climb and explore and even still they will NEVER get all their energy out
6.  They eat A LOT.  I think for most of their lives I did not feed my boys enough.  I just had no idea until I realized that the first thing out of their mouths in the morning was not "Good morning, mommy"  or even "Let's go play!" but "Can we eat breakfast now?"
7. BUT they love their mommy
8. And they give real hugs. the kind that make the world a better place and they always seem to know when their mommy needs one
9. They crave love and attention and boundaries

10. And lastly out the their mouths come the sweetest words you will ever here...."mommy, will you be my best friend, forever."

I love my boys!!

Mercies

"Even after the darkest night, God's mercies are new in the morning."  Sunrise by Karen Kingsbury

St Patrick's Day

Half the fun of having kids is watching them get excited about the little things in life.  In our house, we try to celebrate a lot.  I know you can't put a price on fun, but the best part is that most of these fun celebrations are under $10! 

This St. Patrick's Day I went out to the local dollar store and got a few treats.
In the morning when the kids got up, the leprechaun had left behind pieces of the rainbow for them follow.

At the start of the rainbow and along the way were little treasures to help them find the pot of gold.

The rainbow led them around the house and finally to the pot of gold. The pot of gold is just yellow water beads in big tub.  The kids had fun digging through them to find gold coins and jewels.

Lastly, no kids celebration is complete without special food.  In this case, we had green pancakes for breakfast and "pot o' gold" juice (apple juice) for breakfast.

We also had green jell-o later in the day, but I forgot to take a picture of it.  
As my son says "Happy Leprechaun Day!"

Courage in the Daily

I listened to a sermon today by Pastor Gary Hamrick on the life of Gideon.  Gideon started his life out meekly and then he obeyed God and God made him into a mighty warrior.  God used him to defeat the Midionites with only a small army.  He led the Israelites for 40 years, but sadly he did not finish his life well.  Gideon had courage in a time of crisis, but he did not have the courage to live his daily life for the glory of God.

That stuck with me…do I have courage in the daily?  It is a different courage than the courage required to stand under fire. 

Washing dishes with a smile.

Mopping the floors with a spring in my step

Disciplining with love

Cleaning up the same messy faces over and over happily

Keeping my calm in the midst of chaos

Joyfully living the daily routine every day

All these things take courage…a lot of courage

Many times it is easier to be courageous and cling to God when the going gets tough.  But what about when the going gets ordinary?  That kind of courage is hard to come by.  It comes through walking closely with God daily in the mundane.  It comes through admitting your weaknesses to the people in your life and most importantly to God – then allowing Him to be strong in your weakness.

I am not there yet.  Many days I am not courageous.  I know in my head that I need to rely on God, but my frustrated, tired flesh takes over.  I grumble, I complain, I lash out.  The beautiful part is that God gives us each moment to start anew. 

So… “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters” Colossians 3:23